Intent and preparation
Motive check
Find the hidden motive that is distorting the communication.
The gapYou believe you are solving something and are actually proving, defending, impressing, controlling or venting.
When to use it
Before any conversation you notice you are rehearsing with feeling.
The steps
- Pick the situation.
- Write: what do I say I want?
- Write: what am I emotionally trying to achieve?
- Complete: if I am completely honest, I also want ______.
- Decide whether that hidden motive helps or interferes.
- Remove the interfering one from the plan.
- Rebuild the message around the objective that is actually useful.
- Deliver, then reflect.
You know it worked when
You can recognise when your own motive is interfering with the outcome you say you want.
What else it works, and why
- Presence
- Proving, fear or defensiveness change the state you speak from.
- Connection
- Ego and self protection put you ahead of the person and the relationship.
Which drill is yours, in what order and at what dose, is not something a page can tell you. That is what a Discovery Call is for.
Take the AssessmentOr read the whole glossary first.