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Work on my communication

The frameworks

Difficult conversations

Observe, acknowledge, address, agree

Raise a difficult issue while keeping the other person in the conversation.

Connection · Capability framework · No. 56

The shape

  1. Observe
  2. Acknowledge
  3. Address
  4. Agree

Why that order

The acknowledgement reduces unnecessary defensiveness without making the issue disappear, which is the balance most people miss in one direction or the other.

A worked example

I have noticed the last two client meetings became tense. I understand the client has changed the requirements several times. We still need a clear change control process. Can we agree that future changes get documented before we commit to them?

Mostly serves Connection, and reaches into Message.

A framework tells you what shape the answer takes. It cannot tell you whether shape is what you are short of, and for most people it is not. Which one is yours, and whether a framework is the right instrument at all, is what a Discovery Call is for.

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Or read the whole glossary first.