Difficult conversations
Fact, feeling, need, request
Say what is wrong without turning it into an accusation.
The shape
- Fact
- Feeling
- Need
- Request
A worked example
When the deadline changes without discussion, I am not sure what I can commit to. I need clearer visibility before I confirm timelines. Could we discuss changes before the revised date goes out?
What usually goes wrong
Using a feeling as evidence. A feeling explains your position. It does not prove the other person was wrong, and deployed that way it ends the conversation.
Mostly serves Connection, and reaches into Presence and Intent.
A framework tells you what shape the answer takes. It cannot tell you whether shape is what you are short of, and for most people it is not. Which one is yours, and whether a framework is the right instrument at all, is what a Discovery Call is for.
Take the AssessmentOr read the whole glossary first.