Difficult conversations
Issue, interest, option, agreement
Move from stated positions to something both sides can accept.
The shape
- Issue
- Underlying interest
- Options
- Agreement
Why that order
Positions conflict far more often than interests do. Moving down one level usually reveals that both sides want compatible things by incompatible means.
A worked example
- Issue
- Team A wants Friday, Team B wants Monday.
- Interest
- A needs predictability for customers. B needs testing time.
- Options
- Friday with reduced scope, or Monday with full scope.
- Agreement
- Release the critical features Friday and the rest Monday.
You have it right when
The conflict becomes a problem to solve rather than a contest to win.
Used in
Where this shape does its work in a real situation.
Mostly serves Connection, and reaches into Intent and Message.
A framework tells you what shape the answer takes. It cannot tell you whether shape is what you are short of, and for most people it is not. Which one is yours, and whether a framework is the right instrument at all, is what a Discovery Call is for.
Take the AssessmentOr read the whole glossary first.