Difficult conversations
Intent, fact, impact, way forward
Address a difficult issue without the conversation becoming primarily personal.
The shape
- Intent
- Fact
- Impact
- Way forward
Why that order
Intent establishes that the purpose is constructive, facts anchor it, impact establishes why it matters, and the way forward stops it ending at criticism. Without the first step the facts sound like an accusation, because the other person has to guess what you want.
A worked example
I want us to sort this out so we can work well together. The last three reports were submitted after the agreed deadline. That delays the team's review. Let us agree what needs to change so the next one reaches us by Thursday.
What usually goes wrong
Stating a warm intent you do not have. It is the easiest part to fake and the easiest to detect.
Used in
Where this shape does its work in a real situation.
Mostly serves Connection, and reaches into Intent and Message.
A framework tells you what shape the answer takes. It cannot tell you whether shape is what you are short of, and for most people it is not. Which one is yours, and whether a framework is the right instrument at all, is what a Discovery Call is for.
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