Listening
Listen, understand, verify, respond
Make the response answer what was actually said rather than what you assumed.
The problem it addresses
The listener hears the words and starts building a reply before understanding the meaning.
The shape
- Listen
- Understand
- Verify
- Respond
Why that order
Listening supplies information, understanding forms an interpretation, verification checks whether the interpretation is right, and only then is responding reliable. Most people run the first and the last.
How to run it
- Listen without preparing your answer.
- Identify their main point.
- Identify the concern or the outcome they want.
- Verify your reading if it matters.
- Respond to what was confirmed.
A worked example
Somebody says they are worried you will not make Friday.
You are concerned that the current scope makes Friday unrealistic. Is that the main issue?
Then answer the confirmed concern, not the one you guessed.
You have it right when
The response addresses their actual concern.
What usually goes wrong
Turning every conversation into formal paraphrasing, which becomes a technique the other person can hear.
Adapting it
- Casual
- Understand quietly before answering.
- High stakes
- Verify out loud.
Used in
Where this shape does its work in a real situation.
Practise it
Knowing the shape is about ten minutes of work. Running it while somebody senior is looking at you is a different thing, and that is what these are for.
Mostly serves Connection, and reaches into Intent, Message, Presence.
A framework tells you what shape the answer takes. It cannot tell you whether shape is what you are short of, and for most people it is not. Which one is yours, and whether a framework is the right instrument at all, is what a Discovery Call is for.
Take the AssessmentOr read the whole glossary first.